Quick plug: Need a job? Work at the Apple Store! Any location! My sister Carissa would like everyone to know that they are hiring for various positions. If interested, send your resume to carissawooATgmail.com. She’ll then personally hand it to The Jobster himself. Or something like that.

I told her I probably won’t be able to attract many takers. Unfortunately, all of my friends have, like, multiple degrees and shit. She understands.

She told me she’s already received a ton of resumes from her posting on Facebook. Apparently, there are many in her post-college circle who are out of work and frustrated. Yes, I remember that stage, that dark and seemingly endless tunnel of desperation. There’s a name for it, I believe. It’s called being 22.

She also said that most of the resumes she glanced at suck. Like, a headlining qualification would be: “Organized a bake sale for Kappa Kappa Theta sorority.” Or, they’ll pinpoint tiny details with statements like, “As a hostess, I occasionally refilled the napkin containers.” I couldn’t help but cringe a little.

You know why? Because I so was that applicant. When I was low on boba funds and needed to find me one of those things they called jobs, I didn’t know the first step. I partly blame my institution of higher education, where I learned how to put a condom on a cucumber in three seconds flat (Thanks Bio 45!), but was as puzzled as the rest of my peers whenever interviewers asked for a cover letter. (”Huh? Aren’t I just supposed to check off a box that says I’ve never been arrested?”)

I was particularly inept at interviewing. One time, when I was going for this waitressing job at some fancy restaurant, the forty-something-year-old manager asked, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” Without thinking, I looked at him and declared, “Hopefully not working at a restaurant.” Yeah, I really said that. And I wondered why I never got a call back.

Fortunately, after much mentoring from wiser, more experienced folks, I was able to convince (trick) some folks into hiring me. Today, I am fully employed and paddling through the sea of life like a responsible adult (who lives with her parents). I wouldn’t mind helping a few younger kids with the same painful process. Because yeah, I was one of them, stupid and confused. And it was just sad.