In the four years we’ve been together, Matt and I have had very few fights. I mean real fights. We bicker almost daily over who’s better looking (me, duh), who’s smarter (OK, probably him) and where we’re gonna eat (pho or not pho). I guess it’s a good thing to have such a drama-free boyfriend. My relationships haven’t always been this peaceful (Who hasn’t called a bf/ex’s voicemail 37 times in a row just to scream “WHY HAVEN’T YOU CALLED?” Wait, nobody?)

The other day, we had an almost-fight. Over AIM. He had replied to an e-mail send out to a bunch of our friends about us all getting together sometime. We were trying to pick a date when Matt wrote something like, “I can’t make it that weekend. I’ll be in Taiwan.” Right when I read that, I was like, uh, hello, I’m going to Taiwan, too. He could have easily written, “We can’t make it. We’ll be in Taiwan.” Now I was going to have to reply the same thing. People would be like, huh? Aren’t you two together?

Then I thought about it and realized that he hardly ever says “we.” And I was annoyed, but I was annoyed that I was annoyed because I never wanted to be one of those girls who say things like, “We’re so glad you made it!” and “We hope you feel better” and (someday not soon) “We’re pregnant!” Major gag. (By the way, fellas, she’s pregnant, not you.)

But this instance was different. I was irritated. So I IMed him.

Me: You always say “I’m going to Taiwan.” I’m going too, you know.

M: Well, you can tell people that.

Me: No, not just now. At the wedding, too. You were telling people, “I’m going to Taiwan next month” when I was sitting right next to you. So awkward.

M: You calm down. I don’t speak for you. You are your own person.

Me: No, it’s annoying. We need more “we” like all the other couples.

M: Other couples don’t say that!

Me: Uh huh. They always say “____ and I will be there” or “____ and I can’t make it.” It’s normal!

(10 minutes pass.)

Me: I don’t like that!

(20 more minutes pass. I’m kinda over it because I have tons of stuff to do, but of course, I’m not really over it. I’m upset.)

M: Hey

Me: What

M: There’s a spicy Mexican restaurant near my office. I can bring some food home for you … I mean, for us.

Me: Oh, Ok. =)

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we fight. Dr. Phil must be cringing. But at least I got chips and salsa.