Me: How do you know me so well?
M: What do you mean?
Me: I just feel like you know me. I mean, you really know me.
M: Oh, well I looked you up on Facebook and read all about you.

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Alice: So we’re really going to do this?
Me: We have to. I can only wear dresses now. My jeans are too tight.
Alice: At least you can wear dresses. I’ve resorted to mumus.
So, for anyone who wants to join us:
6:30 a.m. (kill me now!)
Contact me for the location.
Bring running shoes.
And some inspiration.
Example:

See you there.

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I pull up to the drive-thru window at Del Taco and a man in a visor asks, “Would you like to try our new hot sauce, Del Inferno?”
Would I? WOULD I?
I get these little packets home, squeeze the sauce onto my chicken soft taco and take a bite. Not bad! Tangier than Del Scorcho with [...]

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I haven’t been doing so well in the pretty department. I’ve had these patches of eczema on my neck and near my ear like forever and I haven’t really felt prompted to go to the doctor to fix them. They’ve gotten kinda bad. I used to use this prescription steroid cream that stared with an [...]

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When you think you can’t do it, think about this:
Kristi Yamaguchi was born with club feet.

Ew, gross! (These feet aren’t hers.)
Her parents put her in ice skating lessons as part of her physical therapy.
Now, she’s on Dancing With The Stars.

I love her.
 Quick update: Says my dad while watching Dancing With The Stars: “I can’t believe [...]

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It’s late Sunday night and I’m exhausted. I spent the whole weekend working thinking about doing some work and now I’m weak and drained. I realized that this job is causing me to put many of my plans on hold, including my plan to live a life of leisure. Not that I’m complaining (much). All [...]

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Website, I miss you. I really do! Kiss, kiss, slobber, slobber.
A conversation:
Me: I’m so tired!
M: Me too.
Me: I’m totally going to sleep in the car on our way to dinner.
M: That’s so selfish. What about me?
Me: Oh … well …. um … You can touch my boob. But only after I fall asleep.
M: Lame.

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My television booed me.
Straight up, unprovoked.
And then it told me in big bold letters that I FAILED.
How rude.
Matching colors to a rhythm is hard.
I don’t know about this thing called Rock Band. My ego is bruised and armpits are sweaty. This ain’t pretty.

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My grandmother went through surgery a week ago and I’ve been visiting her in the hospital. The recovery process has been harsh, but today, it seemed like she was back to her old yapping, nagging self. (”I don’t need flowers. Take them home.” “Put my magazines in the drawer.” “They waste so much food here!”) [...]

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I just spent the last 10 minutes working on my homework for my digital arts class and then suddenly pointed my wrist at the sheet of paper and exclaimed, “Ugh, I can’t handle this right now.’ Lesson learned: Taking on a new position at work and a new extracurricular activity simultaneously results in something I [...]

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