In college, a friend of mine played an April Fool’s joke on her boyfriend. She told him she was pregnant. Her roommate and I tried to convince her not to do it, but for some reason, she thought it would be funny (their relationship was weird), and I guess she wanted us to be there when she told him, so all we could do was stand there and think W-T-F as the disturbing events unfolded. She pretended to cry. His face turned to sheer panic. Then, after a minute or so of his soft consoling, she yelled “APRIL FOOL’S!” and, um, yeah, that was that. Awkward.
Anyway, I was telling this story to Matt and he’s like, if a girl ever did that to me, we’d be through. And I was like, even me? And he’s like yes, even you. And I guess that’s understandable. It’s a pretty effed up thing to do. But then I started thinking about all the terms and conditions that come with a relationship. You know, like, I Michelle Woo promise to love you or at least not kick you to the curb unless you [insert deal-breakers here].
Matt and I had this conversation before. We tried thinking of all the things he or I could do that would call for an instant break-up with no protesting from the other party.
If I recall, here is what we came up with …
Michelle can break up with Matt if he:
- wears a beret because he thinks it looks cool
- waits in line overnight in costume for a nerd-film opening
- does unmentionable stuff with his fish tanks
Matt can break up with Michelle if she:
- does cosplay
- tries on engagement rings (so stupid)
Love has to have some boundaries.
10 responses so far ↓
1 F.J. // Apr 4, 2008 at 1:02 am
Do you want me draft up the Standard Terms and Conditions for you guys? Free, no charge. (Offer valid for 3 days).
2 mimsie // Apr 4, 2008 at 1:49 am
For that last one, you mean tries on engagement rings when not even engaged right? I’m assuming it’s ok to try some on to find a good size, er, I mean fit, after the engagement?
3 michelle // Apr 4, 2008 at 7:18 am
f.j. - haha, sure!
mimsie - yes, trying them on when not engaged. though the terms and conditions on this one are not so clear. does this only apply to trying it on my left ring finger? i think it should be changed to ‘going into robbins bros or tiffany’s and pretending to be engaged and asking to try on rings’ - which many of my friends have done. matt, what do you think?
4 Di // Apr 4, 2008 at 9:56 am
You both are so darn cute and hilarious!!! LOL on the waiting in line in a costume for a nerd movie. Who does that???
5 m@ // Apr 4, 2008 at 10:51 am
I think the “unmentionable stuff with fish tanks” should include being naked within half a foot of the tank. It’s a safe idea for both our relationship and to make sure I don’t overstep my bounds in my hobby.
6 annie // Apr 4, 2008 at 5:21 pm
cosplay? haha, i had to read through that link…that looks fun! lets do it michelle!
7 desiree // Apr 5, 2008 at 5:03 pm
hahahah i was there!!! omg that april fool’s joke/memory is seared into my brain….it was SOOO AWKWARD!!
what about going online and creating your own engagmenet ring, does that count??
8 Nina // Apr 6, 2008 at 8:01 am
Does trying on other people’s engagement rings count? Versus actually going to Tiffany’s and asking to try on engagement rings…
Although I just found out that in Korea it’s considered bad luck to have other people try on your engagement ring before the wedding…
9 Ariel // Apr 16, 2008 at 9:05 am
do i know this person who played this “april fools joke”? i think i can guess who it is
10 Anika // Sep 25, 2008 at 7:16 am
This is really funny! And what’s even funnier is that I actually did break up with my boyfriend in highschool because he wore a beret. It was so strange! But it made the breakup very easy.
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