Sometimes, I think I’m a little slow.

I mean, I’ve never been put in a special class or anything (not that being put in a special class says anything at all about one’s true intellect - I love you Little C!), but I’ve found on numerous occasions that I’m just not that smart.

One of the first times I made this realization was my junior year of high school in U.S. History AP. I know this probably isn’t the best example because I did have to be smart enough to get into an AP class, but man, I felt dumb (Like hello? McFly?). We had to read this torturous book (*KICK* *TEAR* *BITE* *WAVE FISTS*) and man, it had some big words. I remember reading a paragraph, thinking huh?, reading it again, thinking HUH? and reading it again and again and again and thinking HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?

I was so frustrated that shoved the book aside and drove myself to Borders. I was going to learn about those Articles of Confederation if it killed me! I walked through the doors, past the historical non-fiction and straight into the children’s section, where I pulled out titles like Star Spangled Bunny and Slave Owners Are Bullies (OK, OK, I have no idea which books I picked up). Anyway, I grabbed some pertinent reading materials, plopped my grownup-sized butt on the mini step and started studying.

(I never passed that damn AP test. What were those Articles about, anyway? Were they any good? )

This sorta long story leads me to tonight, when I again realized I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. (HEY NOW! YOU’RE AN ALL STAR!) One of the shower knobs in our bathroom is cracked on the inside. It’s gotten progressively worse and this entire week, I’ve dreaded taking showers because I always know what they end with: Me hunched over for 6 to 9 minutes, struggling to push the broken knob inward while strategically turning it at the same time. All the while, my toes are trying to dodge the scalding water that’s blasting from the shower faucet because the “cold” knob works fine. This method takes all my strength (and I don’t have much), but it’s the only thing that works.

Or so I thought.

This evening, after my final rinse, I was preparing my wrist muscles for another “push and turn” session, when a light bulb suddenly turned on in my brain. Instead of laboring with the broken knob, I could pull it off and stick the good knob in its place. I’M SO SMART! GENIUS, PURE GENIUS. I MUST TELL EVERYONE!

Me: Sister! I discovered a trick! You can take the good knob ….

Sister: (Cuts me off) Duh.

Me: Matt! I discovered a trick! You can take the good knob …

Matt: (Cuts me off) Duh

I’m a little slow.