I am tired of being a slave to technology. I wake up, check my personal e-mail, shower and beautify, check my work e-mail (WHY?) and then drive to work only to turn on the computer and check my work and personal e-mail 274,974 more times throughout the day. Then I come home, pee, and GO BACK to my computer to check for any e-mails I may have received on the 18-minute drive home. It’s insane.

And whenever a family member enters my room to initiate that thing called … thinkthinkthink … CONVERSATION, I always seem to be in the middle of the very important act of STARING AT A 13-INCH SCREEN and grunt my way out of utilizing my vocal chords to communicate. JUST E-MAIL ME!

Technology has also put a strain on my romantic life as Matt owns one of those Blackberry devils and plays that damn game Brick Breaker every chance he gets — at meals, movies, concerts, while lying in bed. At a restaurant the other day, as he was waiting for his beef noodle soup, he pulled the device out of his pocket and turned on the game. I got so fed up that I took my straw wrappings and swooped in and tied his thumbs together.

Me: Technology is the demise of modern society. I bet people were much happier in the cavemen days. They probably did other things like crafts.

Matt: Yes, crafts and TRYING TO STAY ALIVE.

I guess I’ll have to get a Blackberry soon. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.