Comments on: My take on flakes http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/ Wed, 18 Jan 2012 20:00:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Elisa http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-11257 Elisa Sat, 24 Sep 2011 22:34:59 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-11257 "you can definitely get fired as a friend" Why is that trash? Of course you're going to get fired as a friend if you keep flaking, or if you flake on something REALLY important. If you care about your friendships, DON'T flake people. If your friends keep you around even though you keep flaking, they either have little self-respect (which is sad) or they don't even care about *you* very much to analyze why you're not there. I hope that last statement made sense... “you can definitely get fired as a friend” Why is that trash? Of course you’re going to get fired as a friend if you keep flaking, or if you flake on something REALLY important. If you care about your friendships, DON’T flake people. If your friends keep you around even though you keep flaking, they either have little self-respect (which is sad) or they don’t even care about *you* very much to analyze why you’re not there. I hope that last statement made sense…

]]> By: melissa ferrari http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-10210 melissa ferrari Tue, 07 Jun 2011 03:32:26 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-10210 i am so glad i found this page - i am obviously not the only one who is frustrated! my friends suck! i always thought that a real friendship should involve two or more people who give and take equally with sincerity and without obligation.(most of the time, of course nobody's perfect!) i have bent over backwards for these people, and what do i get in return? nothing! that's what. it would be nice to have a visit for other reasons besides "i'm driving by your house anyways". thanks, but no thanks! grrr. people these days are so self-centered. what are we teaching our kids to expect from relationships. i find there is no substance in them anymore. thank god for my husband and his fantstically sincere reliability! i am so glad i found this page – i am obviously not the only one who is frustrated! my friends suck! i always thought that a real friendship should involve two or more people who give and take equally with sincerity and without obligation.(most of the time, of course nobody’s perfect!) i have bent over backwards for these people, and what do i get in return? nothing! that’s what. it would be nice to have a visit for other reasons besides “i’m driving by your house anyways”. thanks, but no thanks! grrr. people these days are so self-centered. what are we teaching our kids to expect from relationships. i find there is no substance in them anymore. thank god for my husband and his fantstically sincere reliability!

]]> By: Cat http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-9336 Cat Tue, 11 Jan 2011 20:47:31 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-9336 I found this page when I googled "friend keeps flaking out" because i'm so frustrated with my long-time friend. She's in her mid-40s, so you'd THINK she was mature and had integrity. But she doesn't. There was a time a year ago where I absolutely stopped making plans with her after one too many no-shows and last-minute bullshit excuses. Plus, she'd often show up late to lunches and coffee. Then slowly we started doing things together again - this time at her suggestion. I would show up, on time, no excuses. I began to get comfortable with this and I started inviting her to do things again. Again the same result! Last minute flake outs, excuses. "I've got a fever." "I have to drive my kid to a sporting event." "I am tired." Here I am, setting aside an evening for her and she cancels on me...AGAIN. I could have done something else. I could have not bothered to dust and vacuum and just relaxed and enjoyed my evening with my husband. But noooooo.... So the bottom line is, I'm back to not making any plans with her. I found this page when I googled “friend keeps flaking out” because i’m so frustrated with my long-time friend. She’s in her mid-40s, so you’d THINK she was mature and had integrity. But she doesn’t. There was a time a year ago where I absolutely stopped making plans with her after one too many no-shows and last-minute bullshit excuses. Plus, she’d often show up late to lunches and coffee. Then slowly we started doing things together again – this time at her suggestion. I would show up, on time, no excuses. I began to get comfortable with this and I started inviting her to do things again. Again the same result! Last minute flake outs, excuses. “I’ve got a fever.” “I have to drive my kid to a sporting event.” “I am tired.” Here I am, setting aside an evening for her and she cancels on me…AGAIN. I could have done something else. I could have not bothered to dust and vacuum and just relaxed and enjoyed my evening with my husband. But noooooo….

So the bottom line is, I’m back to not making any plans with her.

]]> By: tamiko http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-7654 tamiko Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:22:34 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-7654 Great post and great comments! I especially like "let your yes be yes, and your no be no" and Andy's whole comment. I wholeheartedly agree! The flaking out of my semi-new friend is calling into question our whole friendship, which I have thought of as a good and lasting thing! I also agree with Andy's comment: "We start to lose faith in our little dreams and that makes us cynical and resentful." This is exactly how I'm feeling. I like being optimistic!! I don't want her flakiness to take that away from me, you know? Very frustrating... Great post and great comments! I especially like “let your yes be yes, and your no be no” and Andy’s whole comment. I wholeheartedly agree! The flaking out of my semi-new friend is calling into question our whole friendship, which I have thought of as a good and lasting thing! I also agree with Andy’s comment: “We start to lose faith in our little dreams and that makes us cynical and resentful.” This is exactly how I’m feeling. I like being optimistic!! I don’t want her flakiness to take that away from me, you know? Very frustrating…

]]> By: Jen http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-7434 Jen Sun, 03 Oct 2010 04:41:08 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-7434 Does your boyfriend have any brothers?!!! Does your boyfriend have any brothers?!!!

]]> By: Andy http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-6717 Andy Sun, 25 Jul 2010 17:38:04 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-6717 I live in the epicenter of flakeville....Los Angeles. making plans is like creating a little dream of a future event..sometimes the anticipation of the interaction/connection is more fulfilling than the actual event and can help us through a hard day, week etc..when someone flakes its like a disappointing death of that little dream. We start to lose faith in our little dreams and that makes us cynical and resentful. Los Angeles has become a stormy ocean made up of an endless number of tiny whirlpools of dysfunctional/flaky "friendships"...quite possibly contributing to it's reputation as the flake capital of the world(pretty as it may be). Advise: keep your appointments...it reinforces personal INTEGRITY(a word seemingly lost on the masses)...which will ultimately serve to keep our little daily dreams alive.....On the other hand, just keep flaking and being flaked upon and then complain constantly that you have no substance in your life. Don't forget where we come from and where we are going... I live in the epicenter of flakeville….Los Angeles. making plans is like creating a little dream of a future event..sometimes the anticipation of the interaction/connection is more fulfilling than the actual event and can help us through a hard day, week etc..when someone flakes its like a disappointing death of that little dream. We start to lose faith in our little dreams and that makes us cynical and resentful. Los Angeles has become a stormy ocean made up of an endless number of tiny whirlpools of dysfunctional/flaky “friendships”…quite possibly contributing to it’s reputation as the flake capital of the world(pretty as it may be). Advise: keep your appointments…it reinforces personal INTEGRITY(a word seemingly lost on the masses)…which will ultimately serve to keep our little daily dreams alive…..On the other hand, just keep flaking and being flaked upon and then complain constantly that you have no substance in your life. Don’t forget where we come from and where we are going…

]]> By: jen http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-3922 jen Fri, 04 Sep 2009 19:25:00 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-3922 Thanks for writing this. I was so PO'd at multiple friends flaking on me for plans this weekend that I was searching the web for something to make me feel better, or at least to help me calm down. Now I know I'm not crazy for being annoyed...Hold Fast! Thanks for writing this. I was so PO’d at multiple friends flaking on me for plans this weekend that I was searching the web for something to make me feel better, or at least to help me calm down. Now I know I’m not crazy for being annoyed…Hold Fast!

]]> By: Melinda http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-3337 Melinda Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:31:39 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-3337 I too am fed up with flakes! I'm married and my husband and I have several friends we like to hang out with- who are all single still. We make it a point to be one time to events and RSVP. I'm thinking of launching a search for reliable friends who have the consideration to 1)RSVP 2) show up 3) show up on time Too many times have we hosted a party for 30 ppl, when only 10 show up. All that food & drink has gone to waste! Such a shame. Or, worse...show up to a party that was set to start at 8pm, and be the only ones there for at least 2 hours!!! What's up with that?? I too am fed up with flakes! I’m married and my husband and I have several friends we like to hang out with- who are all single still. We make it a point to be one time to events and RSVP. I’m thinking of launching a search for reliable friends who have the consideration to 1)RSVP 2) show up 3) show up on time
Too many times have we hosted a party for 30 ppl, when only 10 show up. All that food & drink has gone to waste! Such a shame. Or, worse…show up to a party that was set to start at 8pm, and be the only ones there for at least 2 hours!!! What’s up with that??

]]> By: Marina http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-2074 Marina Fri, 30 Jan 2009 03:34:55 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-2074 If ever I need to back out of plans it's for a very good reason. But I tend to be punctual and reliable as a friend. I've seriously lost friends due to constant flaking on their part. I showed up in San Francisco once with my boyfriend, and my friend couldn't even bother to meet up with us when we had planned in advance. Because he wante to keep partying. Some flakey friends have not even contacted me to back out, they just don't even tell me a reason. That to me is a slap in the face, and shows how little character they have. It also means that I'm not even worth a 20 second phone call. I understand if something truly comes up but when it's repetitive it's just very rude. If ever I need to back out of plans it’s for a very good reason. But I tend to be punctual and reliable as a friend. I’ve seriously lost friends due to constant flaking on their part. I showed up in San Francisco once with my boyfriend, and my friend couldn’t even bother to meet up with us when we had planned in advance. Because he wante to keep partying. Some flakey friends have not even contacted me to back out, they just don’t even tell me a reason.

That to me is a slap in the face, and shows how little character they have. It also means that I’m not even worth a 20 second phone call. I understand if something truly comes up but when it’s repetitive it’s just very rude.

]]> By: carissa woo http://www.michellewoo.com/2008/10/12/my-take-on-flakes/#comment-1200 carissa woo Wed, 22 Oct 2008 06:20:32 +0000 http://www.michellewoo.com/?p=832#comment-1200 who flaked on you? i'll kick them. we should be alloted a maximum amount of friends so we don't always get caught up on making new friends or meeting new people. why do people care more about what strangers think of them rather than their true and existing friends? matt is pretty reliable. i never really noticed that. I guess that is why he is invited so so many parties. "have we become to comfortable..." sounds like a line from S&TC. I can hear kerri in my head. What I have learned in life "never expect anything and you will never get disappointed". this goes along with relationships in general. who flaked on you? i’ll kick them. we should be alloted a maximum amount of friends so we don’t always get caught up on making new friends or meeting new people. why do people care more about what strangers think of them rather than their true and existing friends? matt is pretty reliable. i never really noticed that. I guess that is why he is invited so so many parties. “have we become to comfortable…” sounds like a line from S&TC. I can hear kerri in my head. What I have learned in life “never expect anything and you will never get disappointed”. this goes along with relationships in general.

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