Remember that scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Andy is pouty and defeated and talking to Nigel and she’s like, “I would just like a little credit. I’m killing myself trying,” and then he’s like, “Andy, be serious. You are not trying. You are whining. What is it that you want me to say to you, huh? Do you want me to say, ‘Poor you. Miranda’s picking on you. Poor you. Poor Andy.’ Hmm? Wake up, six.” And then the lightbulb goes on in her head and she gets all hot and drops two sizes and flashes a different designer ensemble every three minutes and throws herself into her work because that’s what it takes to make it, to be brilliant.
Well, lately, I’ve been feeling like frumpy Andy. Like I try so hard just to get by, but deep down in my soul, I know that I’m not really trying. When I complain about the work! the work! OH, THE WORK! it means that I’m doing, not living, and if I’m not living, is this really what I should be doing?
I don’t want to “get by” anymore. I want to work. I want to care. I want to stay up late not because there are items left on my checklist, but because I’m in a creative zone and can’t sleep until the finished project makes me crumple onto my bed and smile. I want to be proud of what I do again. I want to make my mark. I want to own it.
I want to put on my Chanel boots.
I think you just described the idea career.
My dad always says that if you find a job that you love doing, then it’s not work any more. That’s why I’m a musician. But yeah, sucky life doesn’t work like that so you just have to take it as it comes.
A job is a job. Period. Hopefully it’s something you love, but you can’t expect to love it every minute of the day… like when your friend scores free tickets to a great concert, but you can’t go because you have a deadline. I know I love writing… but that doesn’t mean it does not suck like a vampire monkey sometimes.
if only life were legitimately a disney movie. we’d all have singing birds for friends and be able to carry a tune, and like you said have a pair of chanel boots to get us thru the crap.
sadly it is not, so hang in there sister! make the best of the situation and know it will only be better later.
I’m with you… Not that I want thigh-high Chanel boots…. or hell, maybe it will help.
Meh, I digress…
But, I’ve been in a slump of work vs creativity… I think it’s the corporate world; it just bogs you down to the point of loathing the career you choose. That’s why I think I’m leaving that world pretty soon and going freelance again.
But have faith… you’ll be sporting those Chanel boots in no time!!!
OMG! I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately. I totally know what that’s like…super frustrating. But once you figure out what you need to be doing, it’s all worth it, right? (I’m asking b/c I’m still looking!)
Those boots are insane!
And I hope things get better for you soon!!!
Oh I want those boots.
And seriously, I really need all the motivations I can get. Especially to graduate school.
Hi, Michelle! This is Angela Lee from Casimir middle school and just came cross your blog from facebook…and wow, you look the same! haha. Well, yeah we both aged a bit since being 12 or 13 but your smile is the same. I never knew you were a writer (but then you didn’t know that about me either, I’m sure) but reading through it now, you seem like such an interesting person. Maybe you always were and I just didn’t know at the time. Good to reconnect. Will keep reading your blog.
I love your reading your blog. Although some stuff doesn’t relate to guys, you keep things fresh and have a perspective many people have and share. I feel the same way at times and I think everybody needs that push & motivation at times—I’m glad you’re providing such an amazing outlet for it with blogs like this. Although, your other entries are definitely hilarious as well! Keep writing…..!
hi michelle!
i think i’ve found my Chanel boots. still, its not always the fairytale but i find value in those moments of struggle because i’m constantly asking myself why i’m doing this. whether its just work or your dream job, i think you’ll still question it, and i think that’s a good sign. then you know you are doing it for the right reasons
It’s amazing how well I can relate to this. With regard to one of my three classes this semester, this is EXACTLY how I feel. Only I think part of my problem is that I’m not terribly interested in the subject matter… but seriously, I’m just not that fond of playing the game of school anymore.