One night, at high school church camp, our counselor had us girls sit around in a little circle and discuss the things we should be looking for in a potential partner, the standards we should be setting for ourselves. We each had to share the traits that were most important to us.
I said “tall.”
(Yes, I realize I missed the point of this exercise completely.)
At 5-foot-8, I’m rather tall. Not like WNBA tall or anything, but growing up with mostly Asian friends, I was indeed “the tall girl.” Well, actually, “the tall, skinny girl.” (Those were the days.) So I always envisioned myself with a tall guy. And I always dated tall guys.
Until Matt.
He’s 5-foot-7, so we’re not exactly TomKat when it comes to the height difference. But as most any girl would know, this is an issue. Not a deal-breaker (Hello! He’s Matt! He does The Robot in a Storm Trooper hoodie!), but certainly an issue.
We’re not one of those couples that fit. You know the type. He stands behind her, his chin resting sweetly on her little head. When they walk side-by-side, his arm relaxes around her shoulders. They look adorable in photographs — it’s as if the curve of his neck was created just for her cheek.
Instead, when Matt and I walk side-by-side, it’s an awkward, “So … do you put your arm around me and stretch uncomfortably? Or do I put my arm around you because it’s easier? But I can’t do that! I’m a girl! Okay, let’s just hold hands.” When we’re, on rare occasion, out on the dance floor, I feel like I have to really bend my knees and get low to do that basic “freak move.” When we’re lying in bed and I want to rest my head on his chest, my feet sometimes dangle off the bed.
And then there’s heels. I do wonder if my shoe collection would be different if Matt were four inches taller. Shrug.
But really, height is something I rarely think about anymore. I’m me, he’s he and in our own clumsy way, we fit just fine.
Aw.
35 responses so far ↓
1 sleepyjane // Mar 19, 2009 at 3:24 am
I’m also rather tall so J is only a few inches taller than me. We also have that akward “where do I put my arm” thing going on.
I’ve found though, that when we hug and I turn my head just so my face is nestled in his neck. So to me, we fit fine. :)
2 Carrie // Mar 19, 2009 at 3:50 am
My friend was saying how important height was, and how they couldn’t go out with anyone shorter than them, or even the same size. I said size only matters until you fall in love with someone shorter than you are. They looked at me like I was crazy, but I still think it’s true.
You find a way to fit with the person you love, as you said.
3 La Petite Chic // Mar 19, 2009 at 8:22 am
This was such a cute post. At 5′3″, I somehow ended up with a husband who is 6′3″. You would be surprised at how many strangers have said to me, “why do the short girls always get the tall guys?”
I always just shrug my shoulders because it’s not like I actively was looking for a tall guy, I just happened to fall in love with one! :)
4 Katy // Mar 19, 2009 at 8:27 am
awwww…. how cute!!!! :-) lol! I love this post! Matt and I are pretty much the same height, he is like maybe 4 inches taller than me… so it’s nice. LOL! I’ve been there before. I dated boys in high school though that we so much shorter than me.. you get used to it after awhile. LOL!!!
5 Laurie | Your Ill-fitting Overcoat // Mar 19, 2009 at 8:27 am
I’ve always had a thing for shorties. I think it’s a power dynamic thing– I like the idea of dating someone who can fit into my jeans. I mean, figuratively. Or literally. Either way.
p.s. This post is hella sweet.
6 Lindsay // Mar 19, 2009 at 8:54 am
Cute! I’m tall, too, and height has always been an issue for me. Luckily my bf is a few inches taller, so I can wear heels without feeling too huge.
7 Marie // Mar 19, 2009 at 9:12 am
Like you, I’ve always wanted to be with a tall guy. Unlike you, I’m super short. My Matt is quite the tall one (a whole foot taller), so just picture us side by side.
Yes, you can start laughing now. Oh and I don’t even wear heels!
8 Stealthnerd // Mar 19, 2009 at 9:27 am
Sweet! And I so love that picture of the two of you!
9 Jen // Mar 19, 2009 at 11:08 am
I know what you mean, more or less. I’ve always been short, and my shoe collection is very tall. Along comes Joe at just an inch or so taller than me, and now I don’t know what to do with my feet! I actually love being on the same level height-wise though. I’ve only dated 6′+ before, and the moment Joe and I stood side by side, I breathed a sigh of contentment. This does pose a huge wedding issue though. Does he wear lifts? Do I tone down the stilettos? Does it even matter?
10 Rebecca // Mar 19, 2009 at 11:48 am
I totally know how you feel! I’m 5′7″ and Chris is 5′4″. But after dating for 6 years and being married for almost 3, it’s definiely something I don’t think about much anymore…except while shoe shopping! Financially, it’s better off that I can’t wear tall shoes! I’m already obsessed with handbags. At least, I’m not obsessed with designer shoes!!
11 Kitty // Mar 19, 2009 at 12:25 pm
It’s funny… We all make these rules for ourselves and then love comes along, takes one look at us and screams, “SUCKER!” I think God does it just to be funny.
12 m@ // Mar 19, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I guess I am the measuring stick (figuratively speaking) by which all other boyfriends are measured. How m@ is your man?
13 Jessica // Mar 19, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Haha I love this post. I used to ask girls the question: Would you rather date a guy shorter than you, or one missing a finger? And usually the girls would ask back, “Which finger?” :(
Sorry shorter guys.
14 thatShortChick // Mar 19, 2009 at 5:30 pm
major AW!!! especially over the line: “I’m me, he’s he and in our own clumsy way, we fit just fine.”
that’s just about the sweetest thing. EVER.
15 Phil // Mar 19, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I’m 6′ and Robert is 5′6″, so we do sort of “fit” in that regard. But I can totally relate to feet off the bed when I want to snuggle up to him. Grin!
16 Lo // Mar 19, 2009 at 6:39 pm
“the tallest nail is the first one to get hammered.”
a friend said that to me once, i’m not sure why but this post made me think of that.
you could write the narrative for a chic flick…
17 nicoleantoinette // Mar 19, 2009 at 11:47 pm
This is why it’s pretty sweet to be 5′5 :)
18 LiLu // Mar 20, 2009 at 5:43 am
Oh, I LOVE this post. It’s so true… it’s not at all about being perfect…
It’s about being perfect for EACH OTHER, and whatever it looks like, it’s just fine. :-)
19 Michelle & the City // Mar 20, 2009 at 6:15 am
Awe is right, you guys are cute :)
But when it really comes down to it, I don’t think many physical attributes are really dealbreakers. Everyone has a “type”, but that can all be put aside when it comes to finding true love.
Except, you know, men with bad teeth and a beer belly that are balding. Cuz we have to have our limits. :)
20 Heather Rose // Mar 20, 2009 at 7:08 am
I’m totally almost a midget, but I feel for you.
I thought I needed Johnny Depp(to be specific). My husband? Blonde hair and green eyes. Love conquers tall, dark and handsome. Though these men of ours are quite handsome. :P
21 One Step At A Time // Mar 20, 2009 at 7:24 am
You ARE tall…whoa! ;-) And what a cute post!
22 candice // Mar 20, 2009 at 8:31 am
that is seriously such a cute post. =) my ed is 6′ and i stand 5′4″. I’m really thankful for my height because with 3″ heels (when i’m in the mood), I’m 5′7″ which is my ideal height….and barefoot, he looms over me. i love that he’s so tall. i’ve dated a lot of tall guys for some reason. I wasn’t always a stickler for the 6′+ but my previous boy-toys have been right around that height.
23 Tiffany // Mar 20, 2009 at 11:31 am
I say wear the heels!!! Also make sure you stand up straight, it only looks funny in photo’s if you start slouching and try to make the photo look as it does in your head.
24 Di // Mar 20, 2009 at 11:44 am
What did everyone at church camp say when you said “tall”? I’m just curious :)
25 poondingo // Mar 20, 2009 at 12:05 pm
hey me-shell! ok, so the man is a little taller than me, i think 4-5 inches, but our bodies do not fit at all, like a circle in a square cut-out. my feet totally stick off the bed when we sleep. and spooning in bed does not work at all. It sounds cute, but the reality is, it just doesn’t work. I usually wake up with a really bad neck ache or back ache that lasts 5 days. Sometimes I wish I had a real plump man so his body would just mold to mine. It would be like sleeping with playdough.
26 m@ // Mar 20, 2009 at 12:22 pm
@Di, they said God would punish her for her shallowness. And God most certainly did. That’s why we’re together.
27 F.J> // Mar 20, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I want to see what it is like to date a tall girl…well maybe a few inches shorter than me so when she wears heels she is my height…5′11″.
28 nicopolitan // Mar 21, 2009 at 11:07 am
After having hung out with you guys once or twice and tweeting at both of you, I can vouch for why you two make sense. It’s got nothing to do with physical appearance, though. It’s all about a personality match.
29 maggie // Mar 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm
double aww!! that was so charming. i love your photo!
30 michelle // Mar 22, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Thanks for the comments! I guess everyone has their height issues :)
Jessica – That’s funny … and sad!
Tiffany – You’re right. It’s ugly when tall girls try to slouch to “fit” their guy – or friends or whoever – in pictures. Good reminder.
Di – I don’t remember, but I guess Matt’s answer works!
Poondingo – Wow, you guys spoon while sleeping? That’s cute. Matt and I stay on opposite ends of the bed.
31 jill // Mar 24, 2009 at 1:01 am
haha! cute post! sadly, for me, i’m 5′5/8″ (yes, i am owning that 5/8″!), and shyam is tall at a whopping 5′8″! i’ll probably end up with serious neck problems someday. love hurts, eh?
32 ashley.star // Mar 27, 2009 at 11:58 am
Haha.
You are both SO adorable.
I’m 5′1″ and believe it or not, I once dated a guy who was only 2 inches taller than me. (Poor guy. Wonder what happened to him.)
I married a guy a foot taller than me, but whatev. I mean, height schmeight. Right? (HOLY UNINTENTIONALLY RHYME.)
33 Lauren // Apr 8, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Hi! I just found your blog through your comment on wishcake. I loved your comment, BTW!
I’ve also got about an inch on my boyfriend. I’m close to 5′10 and he’s right around 5′9. Truthfully, it does bother me some days. There are days when I feel BIG and days when I long to feel feminine.
And I really miss heels.
But is it a dealbreaker? No way. And before the boy and I started dating when we were still in the best friend days, I once told him I would date no one under 6′0. I ate my freaking words!
34 Zandria // Dec 17, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Wow, this post hits really close to home (I’m glad you linked to it today, because I don’t remember reading it!). A guy I really like is an inch shorter than me, so when I wear heels…there’s quite a big difference. At least it goes to show that I must really like him as a person if I’m willing to over look this… :)
35 carissa // Dec 17, 2009 at 6:11 pm
I always wanted to be taller. i could play tennis better and try out for top model. i wonder what happend to me? oh yeah, old mother’s child (neglected of breast milk too) and allergic to milk (no calcium). bleh
Leave a Comment