There’s this fun little exercise on the 20 Something Bloggers Network and I thought I’d join in. The theme is “Looking Back” and you’re supposed to choose a post from your first two months in blog-land. For me, that was SIX YEARS AGO, whoa. I love revisiting my old blog (Xanga! Woot-woot!) because I was less inhibited then — and pretty darn funny!
Here’s an unedited post written on December 22, 2003.
So I got a seasonal job at Express to earn some extra cash for Palm Springs … and because my parents think I’m a lazy ass. I prefer to be called “a lady of leisure,” but whatever. Here are my thoughts so far.
Things that annoy me at work:
1) Customers who touch things. My policy – you wrinkle it, you buy it.
2) The store music. It’s holiday hell. The absolute worst - Ricky Martin’s pathetic “Ay, ay, ay it’s Christmas and I don’t know what to do. Ay, ay, ay, it’s Christmas and I don’t have a gift for you. I can give you ay, ay, ay. All you need is ay, ay, ay. Un poquito ay, ay, ay. On this Christmas night, yeah!”
What the hell is “ay, ay, ay?” If this “ay, ay, ay” comes in a little green box, open it. But if ”ay, ay, ay” is what I think it is, give him a dirty look (or better yet, cry uncontrollably) until he goes back to the mall to get you your real gift. Cheap ass.
3) Folding. Yesterday I was demoted to fitting rooms because I wasn’t folding fast enough. Also, my folds are too lumpy. Geez. Apparently, they haven’t seen my closet.
4) Female co-workers (flaming dude included). When the store closes, the party begins. I’ve been fortunate enough to listen in on some of the most intelligent and stimulating conversations during re-stocking sessions. “I just want a fuckin’ BMW. A Big Mexican Weiner,” said manager # 1. “I’ve been looking around and everyone at this store has a nice ass,” the flamer noted. My favorite quote thus far? When the assistant manager asked me on my second day, “You’re so quiet, Michelle. You’re not a virgin, are you?” You gotta love the professionalism.
5) Dusting.
Things that make my job easier:
1) Looking at the yummy 20-year-old stock boy. Mmmmm.
2) Discounts. The way I see it – the more I buy, the more I earn.
3) Being referred to by customers as “the jean lady.”
Once again, come visit me. I pretty much work a 40-hour week. Just don’t touch anything.
This post is a part of 20SB’s Looking Back Blog Carnival, and Ben & Jerry’s is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers!
16 responses so far ↓
1 Jen // Jun 24, 2009 at 12:11 am
That is unbelievably hilarious! 2003 was when I discovered Express and their magical tank top that I refused to pay $80 for. The sucker went on sale the next season and I bought 2 for $10 each! That was some sexy shopping!
2 Kitty // Jun 24, 2009 at 1:10 am
Funny Stuff! I used to adore Express…Like 10 years ago. I still have a gift card actually… a ten year old gift card. But I’m yet to find anything I feel like buying, which is understandable since I’ve only been looking for 10 YEARS!
3 Laurie // Jun 24, 2009 at 6:59 am
Ha! I always feel SO guilty when I disrupt the neat little piles of sweaters, since I know some poor, underpaid person just finished folding them. But there are always like 998 smalls and extra-smalls to pick through before I get to a medium!
I try to refold them, but girl, a folder I am not. I’d be demoted to fitting rooms so fast, it’d make my head spin.
4 vicky // Jun 24, 2009 at 10:01 am
hahaha. you were just as fun of a blogger in 2003! after reading this post, i went back to MY xanga page and have been laughing/reminiscing ever since. i really really gotta start blogging again. if just to be able to look back at the posts yrs later.
p.s. i found a post w/ references to AZ – wison bitches, falling asleep at the fancy pool we snuck into and while watching eurotrip! fun times! =)
5 liz // Jun 24, 2009 at 1:52 pm
!!!BMW, lol.
….
and i still xanga. =/ haha
6 SinoSoul // Jun 24, 2009 at 2:14 pm
lady of leisure = prostitute, no?
7 Sensibly Sassy // Jun 24, 2009 at 2:34 pm
this was hilarious! ay,ay,ay!
8 jill // Jun 24, 2009 at 6:28 pm
i recently got a glimpse of me 10 + years ago, and yikes! really now… wuT THe HeLL WuZ THiS aLL aBouT?
9 mandy // Jun 24, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Really? You got demoted because you didn’t fold fast enough? Thats way too harsh.
10 Di // Jun 25, 2009 at 1:50 pm
hilarious.
11 Dee // Jun 26, 2009 at 10:18 pm
too funny..I like the uninhibited!
12 julieann // Jun 29, 2009 at 1:49 am
this post was awesome!! haha.. i love it
13 andhari // Jun 29, 2009 at 7:34 am
ay, ay , ay -> I so remember this and being annoyed like damn to this lol
14 maggie // Jun 30, 2009 at 8:19 pm
snort snark snark you old bloggy
15 Kitty // Jul 1, 2009 at 8:02 am
BTW, I gave you an award! I hope you’ll swing by and check it out.
16 Chris A. // Jul 5, 2009 at 8:37 pm
I remember when I worked one winter break at Macy’s and I was the towel folder. I’ve retained that knowledge and now all my towels are expertly folded, while the rest of my clothes remain in a lump on the floor, waiting to be ironed.
Tragic.
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