Sometimes I think about Arizona. I haven’t been back since I moved to LA nearly three years ago. I think about the evening drives, the majestic sky, the warm, still nights. Mostly, I think about my old job there, how it challenged and fed me, how I was surrounded by some of the most talented, passionate people I’ve ever known. I think about who I was then, so young, so overwhelmed, so lucky. When I think of my short time in Arizona, I think, yeah, that was good.
It’s funny. I never really thought of myself as the super positive type but when I think about my past, I only remember the good. When I think about Arizona, I don’t think about how out of place I felt at times, how I would sit on my bed for entire weekends straight, with nothing really to do, no one really to see. I don’t think about how hard it was to be away from Matt, the hundreds of “I miss yous,” the tears that always came every time we pulled up to the departures line at the airport. I don’t think about how miserably hot those summers were (oh sweet Jesus, those were temperatures no human should ever have to bear). I don’t think about my frustration with everything in the end, how I just wanted to go home for good.
No, I don’t think about those things. I only think about how good my life has been, how many opportunities I’ve had since college, how many amazing people I’ve met. I guess this is a just a reminder that all the things that suck won’t really matter in the end.
When I look at my life now — living with my parents, planning a wedding and stressing about my career (as always) — I wonder what I’ll remember. What will I carry with me? What will I take away?
I want to know, so I can embrace it as it unfolds.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Martinis or Diaper Genies? // Dec 14, 2009 at 12:03 pm
HI. I’m new around here.
But yay for planning a wedding.
and also yay for Arizona. I live in Philly. I hear it’s opposite. Like hot and stuff.
2 nicopolitan // Dec 14, 2009 at 4:35 pm
[delurk] This post was a sucker punch to the heart.
But I think you answered your own question in this post: What will you take with you?
I’m thinking you’ll take the good stuff.
3 Candice // Dec 15, 2009 at 11:32 am
I think that’s how it is with life. Even after the most difficult [albeit painful] times pass, you just look back on them with fond memories. They caused you to grow to the person that you are now. =)
4 mandy // Dec 16, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I think that eventually we all get to a point in our lives where we do just remember the good. I always hope you look back to see only the good and completely embrace that.
5 sarah marie p // Dec 17, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I loved this post. I think it’s so neat you had those adventure in Arizona. Even though there were a lot of challenges, it sounds like a really wonderful experience. And you were so brave to go out on your own! Sometimes I wish I could have had an experience like that but I’m such a homebody! And I really admire that you only took away the good memories. That is definitely something to aspire to!
6 carissa // Dec 17, 2009 at 6:20 pm
You will remember not paying for rent, food, house supplies, etc,
-mom cleaning your room
-having dad show you good stuff on tv
-working out with me at the gym randomly
-going to nice restaurants with matt
-having a personal office
i wish i went away for a lil after college, now it’s too late. (never too late..yah right). Riverside for college doesn’t count. now we are both stuff in the LA/borrance for the rest of our lives. oh well, life is good.
7 faithsalutes // Dec 28, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Arizona is in the top 5 happiest places to live for a reason.
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