And Then We Were Three

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Maggie Sky came into this world at 11:59 a.m. on December 26, 2012. I’ll have to share her birth story another time as I’m still trying to digest the whole experience. (I will tell you that I didn’t get the epidural and my first words after her birth were, “I would NOT wish that upon anyone!”)

These past eight days have been some of the most blissful, most grueling, most gratifying days of my life. I am jolted by the love I have for Maggie, my daughter. I’ve been a big, blubbery mess over her arrival. I’ll cry while singing her songs like, “Getting To Know You” or thinking about the fact that we didn’t know this little person a week ago and now can’t imagine life without her. I can stare at her all day, just memorizing her tiny features and listening to her soft breaths. It’s so crazy! Who am I and what have you done with the old, emotionless me?!

It is an intense love that deep down, I never thought I could feel. At some point during my five hours of pushing (no, not five hours of labor—five effing hours of pushing), my doula looked at me and asked, “Do you think you’re afraid of becoming a mother?” The answer was yes. As anxious as I was to meet this child, I was afraid I wouldn’t be good enough, that I wouldn’t be able to love enough. I’ve never been a “baby person” and the last word anyone would use to describe me is “motherly.” I guess those fears may have manifested in me physically.

Matt and I are still in zombie survival mode as we adjust to being a family of three. Maggie is growing and changing every day, which makes my heart swell and ache at the same time. A lot of people have said she doesn’t even look like a newborn anymore. Gah! Stop that!

I want to remember everything about these first moments before things become too routine. Here are some thoughts and observations about Maggie’s first days of life:

- She had to spend a few nights in the NICU for jaundice. It was very hard to leave her there but whenever we went to visit and feed her, the nurses would tell us how smart and strong she was. She could already lift her head and roll over by herself. One nurse was super freaked out.”Uh, you’re not supposed to be able to do that for six months!” she exclaimed. At one point, Maggie took off her protective eye goggles and started waving them around. The nurses told us we better start baby-proofing our house now.

- She squeaks like a mouse.

- She looks so big to us at home but when we put her in her car seat to take her in for check-ups, we remember how tiny she is.

- We sing to her a lot. Though we’re running out of songs. Our latest lullaby: the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song.

- Furry skin, neck folds and that intoxicating baby smell. There’s nothing sweeter.

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18 Responses to And Then We Were Three

  1. Hey, thanks for making me tear up at work.

    Motherhood is a bitch to your emotions, dude.

    (After I had Gabe, I was like, “I am SO GLAD he’s not a girl so he never has to experience THAT.” I remind myself of that whenever I start to think that childbirth again would be NBD. It’s a BD!)

  2. I’m so happy for all of you. She is beautiful. All that bed rest was worth it, look at her, she might be the next baby genius if she’s already mastering so many things. I hope you have her college tuition saved up early! Congrats! Can’t wait to see what else is in store for you.

  3. She is SO gorgeous!! I’ve been loving the Instagram photos — keep ‘em coming. It’s so awesome how your whole outlook changes when you have a kid, and amazing the degree to which you can love another person. (Of course, I’m saying this as someone who has yet to actually experience it myself. But I’ve known like 40 people — no joke — who have had kids in the past year, so I’m feeling it vicariously.)

  4. Um, okay. She is perfection. And I can’t believe I missed the announcement of her birth (I took my internet break at the wrong time, man!).

    If it’s one thing that I’ve learned about motherhood is that it’s a complete and utter learn-as-you-go thing. Your daughter will look at you with those precious eyes and be all like, “Hey, we’re in this together, ma. We got this.” (Or, at least, that’s what I imagine new babies are thinking when their parents feel absolutely out of their element.) It’s amazing what having a baby does to you, you know? It changes you in a million ways, and it all happens so fast.

    Oh, and I can’t wait to read your birth story. I’m always a sucker for those. :)

    Congrats to you, my friend!

  5. The fun is just beginning.

    Ohhh, you’re so lucky. This sounds so trite and overused, but cherish these days. I look at Chris sometimes and lament that he’s no longer a baby and there won’t be anymore new babies and no more of those wonderful, adorable, sigh-inducing moments. And no, I do not want have to give birth again, but, oh, the joy of a new baby……

  6. Maggie Sky is absolute sweet girly perfection. Congratulations to you & Matt!!

  7. Awww, congratulations! And what a cool name. :) (And what a lot of hair!)

  8. Congrats!! She is so ridiculously adorable! Even though I am very far from having babies, this is all very reassuring to me, because I am NOT a baby person at all. Teenagers I can handle, but babies frighten me, so to hear that other non-baby people can do it makes me happy. Enjoy every second!

  9. Lauren Jewel

    So beautifully written! This story is so sweet, congratulations to you and Matt!

  10. Rad blogpost, soon she’ll be old enough to start commenting! :)

    Congrats again!

  11. She is so lovely!!!

    Isn’t motherhood crazy amazing? That love is just so intense and instantaneous. I still am in shock that I have two daughters!

    Congrats mama!

  12. congrats! :) four hours of pushing, I’m going to think about that when my c section incision bothers me. ;) your daughter is gorgeous.

  13. Congrats on your beautiful new girl!

  14. I can’t even take how amazing she is. Congrats to you and M!

  15. CONGRATULATIONS! She is gorgeous :’)

  16. Congratulations–what a wonderful time.

  17. just so so excited and happy for you and matt.

  18. She is BEAUTIFUL! Biggest congrats, lady! :)

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