Category Archives: Road to Baby

36 Weeks

I’m nearing the end—or, I guess you can say, the beginning. I feel like she can pop out at any moment. My belly is no longer squished up against my boobs, but rather dropped low. Her head is way down there somewhere, making it hurt to shift or walk.

But aside from being achy and wobbly and always, always hungry, I’m happy. Like so many things in life, I feel like my bed rest order was somewhat of a blessing in disguise. It was hard at first, feeling helpless and gross (I think I wore the same clothes for four days straight—hey, Gap Maternity tops are the shiznit), but in the end, it turned out to be kinda nice. Matt stayed home a lot and we spent hours and hours watching Homeland (sooo good!), playing Words With Friends and just doing a whole lot of nothing. We really needed that. Right now, I feel rested and ready to meet the little pooper.

My lovely sister Carissa took these photos of me in my room. As uncomfortable as I am sometimes, I do love being pregnant and am amazed each day at the life that is growing inside me. I’m glad she could capture these moments.

Ready Or Not

A very belated thank you for the kind comments and emails about my last post. Pregnancy is interesting—it can be such an isolating experience, but the moment you reach out, you realize how many women have been in your same position. It’s  reassuring, and I really appreciate all those who’ve shared their stories with me.

So I’m 35.5 weeks and the baby is still inside my belly rather than outside, which is a good thing! I’m hoping to keep her in there for at least a couple weeks longer, but if she came now (eeeek!), the doctors wouldn’t be all too concerned.

It’s all seeming very, very real to me. I’ve been pretty cool about the whole process of birthing a human until, well, now. Now I am freaking out. This morning, I read that baby kangaroos are born after only 31 days of gestation and are the size of a lima bean. “WHY CAN’T WE BE LIKE KANGAROOS?” I asked Matt, who had just woken up. “Why do we have to wait until babies grow into the size of a baby before we push them out of tiny slot? It doesn’t make sense! Why can’t I have a kangaroo pouch?” He then explained that humans are intellectual mammals and need to grow big brains and blah, blah, something like that.

The truth is, I’m terrified of labor. I have been ever since I was about 5 and happened to watch some PBS special showing a woman stuck in medical stirrups screaming her brains out as this bloody being was extracted from her. (Note to parents: Stick to Sesame Street at this age.) Pain, I dread thee. I’m the type of person who wimpers at the sight of a hangnail.

I’ve been doing what I can to prepare, most notably hiring a birth doula and practicing hypnobirthing. But it’s still scary not being able to fathom the intensity of contractions, not knowing what my body can handle. I’ve been trying to read a lot of positive birth stories to strengthen myself mentally. They’re empowering—all end with a beautiful, blinking baby on mama’s chest—but they’re all so different. I guess nothing can truly prepare you for your own birth experience. Seems like the most important thing is for me to simply trust my body and expect the unexpected.

Ready or not, she’ll be coming soon.

A Halloween Baby Shower


Last Saturday, we had a Halloween-themed baby shower at our house. Even though it was about a bazillion degrees out (why, LA, whyyy??), people still got into the spirit and wore some really awesome (and warm-looking) costumes. It was so much fun just hanging out and celebrating with our friends and family. This little baby is going to be very, very loved.

A few details:

– The amaaaazing dessert table was designed by my friend Jenny, who works at the most adorable bakery Sweet & Saucy Shop.

– Our guests made baby blocks with scrapbook paper, stickers, washi tape and colored pencils. Since it was so hot outside, the craft table turned out to be a big hit!

– I got as crafty as I’ll ever get, making our skeleton costumes with felt , along with some other decorations: scrapbook paper bunting, construction paper bats and a variety of no-carve pumpkins. Thanks, Pinterest!

– Special thanks to my sister Carissa, who managed to get a lot of these great photos while also playing hostess. Check out her photography business, Carissa Woo Photography.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Baby Babble


Contrary to what this photo may show, I am not nine months pregnant. Just enormous, apparently. Random people at stores and restaurants will congratulate me, saying things like, “I don’t usually make pregnancy assumptions, but yeah, you are pregnant.” I’m actually about 5.5 months—23 weeks to be exact (if you’re interested in that sort of thing). I’ve been feeling good overall, aside from some mild aches and heartburn and general whininess.

What’s super awesome is that the baby kicks! I get excited every time. I’ve felt flutters for a while, but in the past week or so, it’s been all Street Fighter down in there. If Matt’s around, I’ll make him drop what he’s doing to to come feel it. He gets excited, too, but he’s also like, “Uh, you know babies kick a lot, right?” Meaning: “Stop messing up my game of Angry Birds, woman.”

The first trimester went by so slowly (mostly because I hate keeping secrets) but time now seems to be moving so fast. We have so much to do: pick out baby stuff (stroller research has already taken about 138972 hours), plan a baby shower, paint the nursery, search for a doula, learn how to take care of human infant once it’s out of me, etcetera. I really am trying to keep things as simple as possible but it’s still pretty overwhelming at times.

So, last but not least, there’s this news: WE’RE HAVING A GIRL! We found out about three weeks ago and I announced it on Facebook and we’re trying to get REALLY, REALLY excited, but the deep truth is (and I haven’t told lots of people this), we’re not 100% confident in the accuracy of the ultrasound. When we went in at 20 weeks, the baby was moving around a lot and it was hard to get a clear picture. The doctor said, “It looks like a girl,” and for a nanosecond, we saw the three lines or “hamburger” that we assume is the labia. “Are you sure?” I asked. “Pretty sure,” she replied. I then asked, “Can we tell everyone?” and she said yes. So we got all anxious and made the big announcement. But then of course, I  started Googling stuff and read all these stories about how their “girl” turned into a boy and sometimes (but rarely) vice versa. Ahhh! I dunno, am I crazy? Probably. I am now realizing as I am writing this, this is the worst gender reveal post ever.

So yeah, IT’S A GIRL! (Fine print: Unless later proven otherwise.) We love her already. So much.

Pregnancy Dreams

I’m having a baby!  Before we made the announcement, I’ve been privately chronicling my journey as a mama-to-be. I’ll be publishing some of the posts over the next couple of weeks. Here’s me from the past …   

Written on May 21, 2012

I’ve been having crazy vivid dreams lately, which I hear is a common pregnancy symptom. The latest made me so mad at Matt when I woke up …

The dream scenario takes place in the future when I am very pregnant and showing.

Matt says, “Hey, I need to tell you something.”

“What?” I say.

“So, while you’ve been planning your baby shower, I’ve actually been planning a baby shower for me. I’m going on a cruise to Santa Barbara and taking 25 of our friends.”

“WHAT!?!? What if I want to go on a cruise?!”

“No, no. You have your own party.”

“But, but, BUT!!!!!!!”

I woke up in rage. I turned to Matt and said, “YOU CANNOT GO ON A BABY SHOWER CRUISE TO SANTA BARBARA!”

“I’m not,” he replied, groggily.

“Oh, okay,” I said.

“I’m going on a cruise to Mexico.”

WHAT??

Then I woke up again, for real. I had a dream within a dream, Inception style! That was kinda neat.

Sh*t My Baby Daddy Says

I’m having a baby!  Before we made the announcement, I’ve been privately chronicling my journey as a mama-to-be. I’ll be publishing some of the posts over the next couple of weeks. Here’s me from the past …   

Written on May 12, 2012

I am so tired all the time. Last Friday, Matt’s friend came over to watch the Laker game. I said hello, quickly ate some dinner with them, then announced I was going to bed. It was 7 p.m. (I don’t think he suspected anything—he’s a boy.)  Other than the fatigue, I’ve been feeling okay. No nausea, thankfully. Since we’re not telling any more people for a while and it still feels too early to start planning for an actual infant (though I may have a secret folder for nursery ideas), pregnancy is pretty boring.

But, of course, Matt always keeps things entertaining. Some recent conversations:

Me: I’m so tired!
Matt: It’s because the baby is pretty much a parasite, eating all your energy.
Me: I know …
Matt: Too bad it’s not eating all your gas.

***

Me, looking at my belly: I think I’m starting to show!
Matt: You’re showing tacos.

***

Me, looking at my husband longingly: Do you think we’ll still love each other even if there’s a little baby?
Matt: Probably not. But we’ve had a good run.

***

Me: I really hope there’s a baby in me.
Matt: Me too. Otherwise I’ve been being nice to you for nothing.

Baby Poppy Seed

I’m having a baby!  Before we made the announcement, I’ve been privately chronicling my journey as a mama-to-be. I’ll be publishing some of the posts over the next couple of weeks. Here’s me from the past …   

Written on Saturday, April 29, 2012

We went to see a doctor the other day and learned that I am four weeks pregnant. Approximate due date: January 4, 2013. In the past few days, I went from disbelief to worry. I pretty much skipped over elation—so far, there’ve been no scenes where we stand in the bathroom, hugging and sobbing over my pee stick.  (In reality, it was about 12 pee sticks of  various brands—we had to be sure.)  Don’t get me wrong, I have spurts of giddiness every so often (OMG SQUISHY BABY SQUEEEE!), but they’re quickly overshadowed by a cloud of caution.

According to BabyCenter.com, this teeny speck of life inside me is the size of a poppy seed. A poppy seed! That’s like, smaller than this old Cheeto bit that’s lodged in my keyboard. I’ve lost earrings, car keys and cell phones that are more substantial.

There are an infinite number of things to worry about, or so it seems.  (Today’s top headline on BabyCenter: “21 Signs of a Pregnancy Problem.”) I started browsing this online pregnancy forum where all the members are women who are  due in the same month. Let me tell you, it is not a happy place. Every day, at least one woman will write a message titled, “Goodbye” or “I’m out,” sharing the news of her miscarriage. It’s both heartbreaking and terrifying. I feel like we’re all in this huge game of blackjack, each praying that we don’t bust. I can’t get too excited yet. At least not until the eight-week mark when we’ll (hopefully) see that glorious heartbeat on the black-and-white screen.

I wish I can ensure that Baby Poppy Seed is kept safe, but I know that many things are beyond my control. All I can do is stay healthy and informed and give it little pep talks every once in a while (“Hang in there, buddy!”). And then take a deep breath, hope for the best and let go.

Maybe, in a very, very small way, this is what it feels like to be a mother.

Probably The Least Romantic Way To Tell Your Husband You Are Pregnant

I’m having a baby!  Before we made the announcement, I’ve been privately chronicling my journey as a mama-to-be. I’ll be publishing some of the posts over the next couple of weeks. Here’s me from the past …   

Written on Tuesday, April 24, 2012 

The books and websites recommend that you cook up a special meal for the daddy-to-be (remember when Aunt Becky told Uncle Jesse?) or maybe pop the news while on a nice, relaxing stroll.

This is how I told my husband that we were becoming a family of three …

Sorry, Matt, for almost making you swerve off the freeway on your way to work!

Road To Baby: Boobs

I’m having a baby!  Before we made the announcement, I’ve been privately chronicling my journey as a mama-to-be. I’ll be publishing some of the posts over the next couple of weeks. Here’s me from the past …   

Written on Monday, April 23, 2012 

I am obsessed with my boobs.

I stare at them in the mirror, noticing that they’re plumper than ever before in my 30 years of existence. I press on the sides, near my armpits, and, yep, they’re still sore. I make Matt touch them constantly, and even though he, the world’s expert on my breasts, has confirmed that yes, they are indeed bigger, he doesn’t want to read into it the way I’ve been doing so for the past 50 hours. “No matter what they mean,” he says, “let’s just be thankful for this time of giant boobies … honk-honk!”

I believe I am pregnant. I know I shouldn’t even be uttering the words because I’m probably just setting myself up to be pretty sad but I wanted to write about what’s going on in my head right now. Not a day or a week from now when my mood is sure to be completely different.

Matt and I had decided that once we returned from Japan, we would try to have a baby. As you may recall, I was somewhat on the fence about having children. After many months of agonizing over my indifference, I finally fell to the side of “yes, children!” (This tipping points involved hanging out with babies and enjoying it, feeling some fuzzies when I looked at babies, realizing that I want to experience the raw humanity that motherhood brings, proclaiming that yes I do have the capacity to love a being I’ve never met despite the fact that puke and explosive diarrhea makes me wanna hide in fetal position, and knowing that hell, I’m not getting any younger. And all the kids on Facebook are doing it). Of course, it is a good thing that I want to have a baby because as I mentioned earlier, I believe I am pregnant.

I never thought I would be one of those women who would obsess over trying to conceive, or TTC as they call it in the scary, grammar-deficient abyss known as online pregnancy forums. I thought I’d play it cool, you know? We’re not on any deadline so we’ll just live our lives, have a ton of awesome unprotected sex and if it happens, it happens. Yeeeah, no. When you start trying, you start wondering. ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME. I think I’m pregnant. Maybe I should take an online quiz! Oh my God, yes, I’ve been breaking out! Yes, I’ve been eating an awful lot! Yes, I am a little constipated! I MUST BE PREGNANT. THERE IS NO OTHER REASON FOR THESE THINGS. I’ve since realized that you can type in any symptom in the universe and someone in internetland will diagnose you as pregnant. Try it.

And then, of course, the sex has been hot. You know, the kind of hot where you whine, “Come onnnnn, I need sperms in me today. GET IN THE GAME.” We’ve traded post-sex cuddling for the post-sex Googling. “Okay, so now I’m supposed to perch my legs up on a pillow for 30 minutes,” I’d say, looking ridiculous. (P.S. I totally just lied about the cuddling. We’re married. Who does that?)

Anyway, back to the boobs. There are a lot of possible pregnancy symptoms out there but doctors say that sore, swollen breasts are one of the most defining ones. Also, I took a pregnancy test today and the pink “pregnant” line appeared ever so faintly. (Like, I had to squint and hold it up to a light to see it.) I feel hopeful but cautious. And I’m focusing all my energy on the cautious part because if that’s not there, my mind will spiral out of control.

For now, I’ll try to just admire my spectacular knockers.

(Reality check: They’re still an A-cup but they fill the whole bra without leaving a giant air bubble. So … score!)