Category Archives: TV

*Sparkles *

I’m so happy for my girl, Jordin Sparks. Perhaps I’ll soon get sick of that enormous smile plastered on billboards everywhere, but for now, let me have my moment. American Idol is so wholesome and manufactured — there are no limo-ride sobs, racist tirades or obligatory skinny-dipping footage — and yet I still love it. Jordin, who’s (have you heard??) only 17, is so fresh and moldable that it’s exciting to see where she’ll end up (most predictably, 40 pounds lighter and partying it up with Mary Kate and Ashley in the pages of US Weekly). Tonight, the possibilities are boundless. It’s only with a tinge of shame that I say I believe American Idol brings the world together. At work, each week, we would convene over lunch to discuss Haley’s (aka Celine Dion) 99 cent garment district earrings, Chris’ (aka JT) annoying bounce and Phil Stacey’s (aka Powder) creepy powderness. But it’s more than just water cooler substance. If you wanted to feel like you still had a few leftover brain cells in there, you could hop onto the LA Times or Washington Post websites to find in-depth commentary on the beloved singing competition by some of the best entertainment writers in the business. And, I suppose what’s most meaningful to myself was that it was something I could watch with my folks (which, in this day, qualifies as “family time”) for two or three (OK, more like 1.5 — TiVo) hours a week. All that is now over. At least for the season.

Now what?

Old Soul

I just heard screams coming from downstairls. Sigh. I guess Apolo just won Dancing With The Stars. My life at home runs on a carefully-caculated TiVo schedule. (By the way, did you vote for Jordin? Did you? Did you? Did you?!?!) I look at my parents with their Dream Dinners and TV trays, testing out rash creams and counting down the days until retirement, and I’m startled to see my future. Who would have thought I’d get here so soon?

I am getting old. I try to kid myself by watching Reese Witherspoon movie marathons and painting my toenails hot pink, but the fact of the matter is, THIS IS THE END. I look in the mirror and my eyelids are all droopy. I almost died tonight in Turbo Kickboxing. My cellphone doesn’t even flip.

Last Saturday, a group of us went to eat dinner at Musha. Afterwards, we couldn’t think of anything to do, so we stood in the parking lot talking. My 22-year-old sister who joined us that evening had long left us for a party in Hollywood. We were jealous. I declared to my friends, “We have to stay out until at least 11 tonight!” I looked at my phone, which read 10:24. I shrugged and said, “We have to stay out until at least 10:30!” They chuckled and we all parted ways at 10:28.

Where did my 20s go? I guess I’d have to partly blame the disappearance on employment. But, ya know, I’m not really complaining. This is more like, well, a passionate observation. I like my life. I feel like things are really falling into place. I just wish they wouldn’t bolt down so freakin’ fast.

Not a Fanjaya, but still.

Guess who I saw last night at the Asian Excellence Awards (aside from a gazillion Asian celebs — dude, if a bomb hit Royce Hall last night, there would be absolutely no Asians on TV or in movies — ever).

Sanjaya!

He looked as creepy as ever with his predator-esque poses on the red carpet. I was in reality TV bliss.

Of course, this moment does not even compare with this, though, in my heart, nothing ever will.

My virgin eyes!

I haven’t been following Dancing With The Stars very closely this season (I’ve only watched every other episode), but I now know what I’ve been missing. Dude. Who needs Skinemax when you can watch Apolo & Julianne jive? RoWR.

Pre-lunch procrastination

Seriously, the most insightful, smartly composed blog you’ll ever read. I get goosebumps from every entry. GO JORDIN!

Mentally disabled

A lot has happened in the past week. First, my sister and I painted our rooms. Second, I believe I had a concussion. I hit my head on a mounted TV, had a ‘fuzzy head’ feeling that lasted 2.5 days, and, since my health insurance doesn’t kick in for another month, gave myself a diagnosis with the help of Yahoo! Answers (“Do you feel confused?” YES! ALWAYS!). I hope I didn’t kill too many brain cells, because the ones I had left were very important to me.

Third, I went to a wedding. It was pretty fun, considering the fact that I didn’t know many people. Matt succeeded in his plan to be drunk by 5:30 p.m. Though, the thing about weddings is they always get me thinking. My imagination starts bubbling and that is not good for my injured brain. For my own (make-believe) wedding, I’ve decided I will have a steel drum band. Ideally, I would like to hire the singers on the 50 First Dates soundtrack, but Matt says it might be little hard to get Wyclef Jean, Fergie and 311 to come. Of course, the whole marriage aspect of all this still makes me shiver. I’m thinking about joining Natasha and Jenny in their quest to become cougars. Now, that’s the good life, I tell you.

Fourth, Max and Laura won “Grease: You’re The One That I Want.” All is right with the world.
Max and Laura

Fifth, I tried on the bridesmaid dress I will be wearing in my cousin’s wedding. It’s super glamorous and, um, super low-cut.

“Are you sure I don’t need boobs to wear this thing?,” I ask her.

“Yes, you’ll look good,” she says. “You’ll be at a church.”

A poem for Simon Cowell

You make me laugh
With your scary white teeth
And chest-hugging shirts
I feel happy when I see you
Every Tuesday and Wednesday
And Thursday
You say funny things
In that cool British voice
Things that are mean and smart
And true
For instance,
“It was like some ghastly lunch
where after lunch your parents
have asked the children
to dress up and sing”
Simon, you are my idol
My American idol
That show could not go on
Without you