Today, I was a guest on the radio show ILL RATED on Radio Korea in Chicago. You can listen to me here chattin’ up KoreAm.

Despite what you may think, I really do hate when the spotlight turns on me. As in me the live person. (Me the byline, on the other hand, loves attention!) So this freaked me out a little. But in the end, I think it turned out……………not bad.

Oh yeah. How I became a voice for Korean America? Hahaha. Don’t even ask.

You know when you need something so desperately in your life but you don’t know what it is until it lands in your fingertips?

The book, if you didn’t check the link, is called How Now: 100 ways to celebrate the present moment. This is something I struggle with always, the inability to embrace this for this, to soak up the now. What’s going on later? I can’t wait for this weekend! In just a few months, I’ll be home free. In just a few years, I’ll be there. My disconnection from the present puts a seatbelt on those big, hearty laughs and those therapeutic tears. It makes it hard to feel life, to experience life.

Anyway, I’ve enjoyed reading the little hippie exercises that help you snap back into the moment.

For instance:

Celebration # 2 Inner Smile
Feeling joyful is not necessary for presence, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to induce it. Joy creates an almost instantaneous sense of expansion­an inner smile that’s like a warm bath. Some call this warm bath “flow” or “spirit.” No matter the name, experiencing it naturally connects us to ourselves and to everyone and everything around us.

The Practice:
Think about someone or something that you love. This could be a child, a place in nature, or a favorite memory. Whatever you choose, make sure that just reflecting upon it creates an automatic inner smile. Then surrender to that inner smile. Let it light you up. Feel it spread through your body and even beyond it, uniting you joyously with your surroundings.

Try it!

I personally never wanted to stand on the rooftops with this announcement because, well, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve always been awfully determined to put up a sparkly front. I cringed when a fellow editor proposed that we tell the community about our situation and our pay cuts (THAT’S why I had to wear the same dress to three weddings in a row, OK?) and I don’t really know why. Maybe I was still in denial, but I’m sure it’s deeper than that. Perhaps I’m more Korean in nature than I thought.

What I know (and must accept) is that our Save KoreAm campaign is necessary. And I know that KoreAm Journal serves as a critical voice not only for Korean Americans, but for all Asian Americans. And I know — oh, I know — that despite the rough patches our staff has plodded through these past couple of months, we are continuing to work tirelessly (well, actually, I’m pretty tired) to produce a magazine that’s crammed with depth, relevance and wit. And we have big, BIG! plans for the future. *coughawebsitethatdoesntsuckcough*

If, of course, we get the support we need right now.

So here is my plea. Save KoreAm. For me, I suppose, but really, for all of us.

And whenever a family member enters my room to initiate that thing called … thinkthinkthink … CONVERSATION, I always seem to be in the middle of the very important act of STARING AT A 13-INCH SCREEN and grunt my way out of utilizing my vocal chords to communicate. JUST E-MAIL ME!

Technology has also put a strain on my romantic life as Matt owns one of those Blackberry devils and plays that damn game Brick Breaker every chance he gets — at meals, movies, concerts, while lying in bed. At a restaurant the other day, as he was waiting for his beef noodle soup, he pulled the device out of his pocket and turned on the game. I got so fed up that I took my straw wrappings and swooped in and tied his thumbs together.

Me: Technology is the demise of modern society. I bet people were much happier in the cavemen days. They probably did other things like crafts.

Matt: Yes, crafts and TRYING TO STAY ALIVE.

I guess I’ll have to get a Blackberry soon. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Y’all know what moment I’m talking about?

Too bad the USA blew it tonight. The Olympics are seriously messing with my bedtime.

(Fashion confession: Yes, I wore the same dress I wore to the last wedding. Oh, the shame. Yes, I wore nylons. Oh, the shame.)

Thanks to Marianne and Alissa for the photos.

Oh yes. And the wedding was perfect, too. Jenny and Odeen are so blatantly meant for each other (the moment you meet them, you’ll realize this — guaranteed) and I was happy to see them make it official.

I think Matt gets a little worried every time I go to a wedding, not only because it gives me “ideas,” but also because I am known to compare our relationship with that of others. This also happens when I watch romantic comedies or select TV shows or when I witness cute moments between other couples, but weddings are especially big triggers. I start to wonder if we’ll ever be “there.” It’s a bad habit, I know. This was a conversation we had when I got back to LA.

Me: We’re so not ready to get married.

Matt: Uh, okay.

Me: We don’t even have that many cute pictures. You know, for a slideshow.

Matt: What are you talking about? We have hundreds of pictures together.

Me: Well, we don’t have the important ones.

Matt: Like what?

Me: Disneyland.

Matt: We’ve never even been to Disneyland together.

Me: Well, maybe we should go.

Matt: Uhhhhh, okay. What else?

Me: Camping.

Matt: I hate camping! You hate camping!

Me: Okay fine. Forget about the pictures. We don’t even have a good kiss.

Matt: What are you talking about?!?

Me: Well, maybe our kisses are good to us, but they wouldn’t look good in front of an audience.

Matt: What’s wrong with this kiss? [Does scary monster tongue thing]

Me: Stop! This is serious!

The more I thnk about it, I guess it’s not all that serious. We’re “there.” Maybe not “there there.” But exactly where we should be.

Matt: Oh, I forgot to tell you. Andrew and I are going bike riding tomorrow.

Me: WHAT?! I feel like I don’t even know you anymore!

The following evening, between his moanings of an aching buttocks (he pedaled 16 miles!), he tries to explain what’s going on.

Me: What is it? Do you not like me anymore?

Matt: What are you talking about?

Me: WHY ARE YOU EXERCISING?

He tells me that after several years of being raveled in his career, he’s beginning to realize that work isn’t everything. That he should get out and try new things. Exciting things. Like, say, riding a bicycle along the coast through six cities when prior to this his most strenuous cardiovascular activity was drumming on medium in Rock Band.

When I think about it, this has become truer for me as well. I’m realizing that there probably won’t be a time in my life when my schedule will magically free up, so I might as well do all the things I what I want to do now. I’ve started a list. It’s rather boring. But at least my ass won’t be bruised.