If you’re a parent, no matter how wonderful you are or how hard hard you try, there will be some ill-fated things you do or don’t do that your children will forever hang over your head. Like the time you headed up the Macarena as a prom chaperone. Or the time you accidentally led them into sewage drain.
In the case of my mom and dad, who otherwise did just about everything else right (look how awesome I turned out!), there are only two things I make them regret:
1) Not teaching me Chinese. (I could be taking over the world right now.)
2) NOT GETTING ME BRACES.
“But you didn’t want them, honey.” Of course I didn’t want them! This is when you use your parental powers to override the decision-making skills of a self-conscious 12-year old. Right?
While my top teeth are not too bad, my bottom teeth are rather wayward, though you can’t really tell thanks to my massive overbite. My grandmother is certain that this unfortunate smile is the sole reason I am old (26!) and unmarried.
I’ve been more or less okay with my teeth through the years, except for the fact that my mouth is perpetually open (though I don’t really know if that’s a ‘dental’ thing or a ‘retarded’ thing), but lately, with all the new technology out there, it seems that there is really no excuse for jacked-up teeth. My mom just got veneers and they look nice. She keeps looking in the mirror and smiling. Why shouldn’t everyone have perfect, beauty-pageant-ready pearly whites?
Then my sister just got Invisalign even though she already had braces when she was a kid (parents always get it right with the second child). And I’m tired of her always being better than me (another post, people), so I’m thinking that I would like Invisalign too!
I’m going to the dentist tomorrow (scurred), so I’ll ask if it’s right for me. I know that you have to take the thing out when you eat, so I wouldn’t be able snack all day like I usually do, which could be a really great thing. And it seems like it doesn’t really interfere with your adult life the way braces would. My sister went through just one workday saying, “Hi thith ith Caritha from Thathi and Thathi (Hi this is Carissa from Satchi & Satchi)” but now she talks normal. And you can’t even see them.
I shouldn’t get too excited, though. As I was researching Invisalign, this is what I found in a Google image search. WTF?
