The term white elephant refers to a gift whose maintenance cost exceeds its usefulness.
—Wikipedia
My friends and I take the white elephant “stealing” gift exchange game seriously. When the rules say, “Bring a crappy gift,” oh, we bring it. Then we transform into cackling middle schoolers once the novelties are unwrapped. It’s so much fun, I swear, we could do this every Friday and the hilarity wouldn’t wear off.
This weekend, I went to two holiday parties where we played this glorious game. Here’s what some lucky recipients got to take home:
Signed Papa Roach CD
Internet urinal
Rock Your Body with Jamie King DVD
Dried octopus snacks
Mineral oil enema
500-piece cat puzzle
Framed doily cutout of Chinese communist leader Mao
Photo collection of famous statue genitalia
Personal lubricant
Southwest Airlines drink coupons
Grow Your Own Jesus
At one party, I ended up with Stephenie Meyer’s Breaking Dawn (yay?), and at the other, I was the big winner of soap.
At Party #2, we also played Secret Santa and I got a hamburger phone! My lovely friend Jenn apparently reads my website. I gave my friend Larry a USB-powered pole dancer, which the boys seemed to wholeheartedly enjoy.
Ho ho ho.
USB Pole Dancer from Michelle Woo on Vimeo.
